(MONDAY, 8/18/2025, 1:40AM)

HAVE YOU EVER WORKED A 9-to-5 WHITE-COLLAR CORPORATE JOB?

WHEN YOU REPORT FOR WORK, YOU HAVE TO SURRENDER A FEW THINGS AT THE DOOR.

THE FIRST THING TO GO IS YOUR SANITY.

IN WHAT SANE MIND WOULD SOMEONE DEDICATE THE BEST HOURS OF THEIR DAY TO SOMEONE ELSE?

YOU TRY TO PARK IN THE SAME SPOT EVERY DAY.

THAT IS YOUR SPOT, BUT NO ONE ELSE KNOWS IT.

IF SOMEONE ELSE TAKES IT, IT WILL RUIN YOUR DAY.

HOW COULD THEY BE SO INCONSIDERATE?

YOU’LL FAMILIARIZE YOURSELF WITH THE FRONT DESK PEOPLE.

IT ALWAYS STARTS AS A SIMPLE NOD TO TELL THE PERSON BEHIND THE DESK, “I AM NOT A THREAT, BIG DOG”.

YOU START TO THROW IN THE CASUAL “GOOD MORNING”, EVOLVING TO “NICE WEATHER WE’RE HAVING”.

WHILE THIS TYPE OF SMALL TALK IS EFFECTIVELY MEANINGLESS, IT REMINDS EVERYONE IN THE ROOM THAT THEY’RE HUMAN, AND NOT A ROBOT (YET).

THEN COMES THE MORNING MEETINGS.

“POW WOW” - “TOWN HALL” - “TOUCH BASE” - “QUICK QUESTION” - “I’VE FALLEN AND I CAN’T GET UP” - THEY ALL QUALIFY.

BEFORE LONG, YOU’LL REACH THE TIME WHERE YOU’RE ALLOWED TO EAT A MEAL - CONGRATS!

MAYBE IF YOU SWALLOW YOUR FOOD AS FAST AS POSSIBLE YOU’LL BE ABLE TO TAKE A WALK BEFORE THE OVERLORDS DEMAND ANOTHER SACRIFICE (MEETING).

AFTER YOU’VE GONE AHEAD AND SPRAINED YOUR ANKLE FROM WALKING TOO FAST DURING YOUR BREAK, IT’S TIME TO DO SOME WORK!

YOU EFFECTIVELY NEED TO WORK ON (3) PROJECTS AT ONCE, AS THEY’RE ALL DUE AT THE END OF THE WEEK.

ONCE YOU’VE REVIEWED THE PROJECT DOCUMENTS AND DESIGN CRITERIA, YOU CAN START TO COMPLETELY IGNORE THEM

THERE ARE TWO REASONS FOR THIS: (1) HALF OF THE CRITERIA DOES NOT MAKE SENSE TO YOU, AND (2) HALF OF THE CRITERIA IS GOING TO BE IGNORED BY OTHERS

TWO HALVES MAKE A WHOLE… SO YOU’RE READY TO BAKE!

AFTER ABOUT 3-HOURS OF TRYING YOUR ABSOLUTE HARDEST YOUR BOSS TELLS YOU THAT, “WE HAVE TO START OVER”.

BECAUSE “FUCK YOU” THAT’S WHY.

THE LONGER YOU WORK, THE MORE YOU COME TO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS “FUCK YOU” IS BECAUSE NO ONE CAN MAKE A DECISION AND STAY BEHIND IT.

LUCKILY, IT’S TIME TO GO HOME.

DON’T WORRY, YOU ONLY HAVE 40 YEARS LEFT TO GO!

REMOTE WORKING IS COOL AND ALL… BUT THEN YOU JUST FEEL LIKE A PRISONER IN YOUR OWN HOME.

ALMOST LIKE THERE’S A VIRTUAL GUN TO YOUR HEAD TELLING YOU TO “SIT DOWN AND WORK”.

GUESS WHAT - I HAVE A SECRET - THERE’S A WAY TO GET AROUND THIS FEELING!

OR AT LEAST… THAT’S WHAT WE’RE DOING HERE…